Over the years, I have tried numerous dieting methods. Since I have always struggled with my weight - losing weight and keeping it off - I have always felt like a prisoner of my own body. Have you ever felt like this? There are times where it's extremely discouraging, especially when I think about how many years I've felt like this - basically my whole life. There are plenty of times where I wonder, is this how I am going to be for the rest of my life?

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    Before I dive into what this post is about, I want to give you an idea of what I've tried exactly when it comes to my diet. The first time I lost weight, I ate oatmeal for a whole month. I fell into a depression and I couldn't get myself to eat anything because I was so tired of the food at home; constant sweets and junk food. So I ate only oatmeal and lost over 30 lbs. I looked great, but still felt empty inside.

Me at 98 lbs.

        The second time I gained weight, I fell into another depression and completely lost sight of everything in front of me.  I lost the weight after picking up a full-time job where I worked over 60 hours a week. It was only natural that I'd lose weight, but again, it wasn't done in a healthy way. I still felt tired, I still felt empty, and I still wasn't at my best.

Me at 120 lbs.

    A year or two later, I found myself eating tons of junk food and constantly getting sick. An Angel must have been looking out for me because that's when I ended up watching a documentary that really opened my eye's. It was called, Fat, Sick, And Nearly Dead - have you watched it before? If you haven't already and you find yourself tired of your current dietary lifestyle, this documentary really will inspire you to turn your life around. 

    After watching that documentary, I decided to go on a 30 day Juice detox. Basically, I would replace all of my meals with raw juice and boy was it hard! The first two weeks, I felt miserable. My cravings were high, my emotions were all over the place, and I constantly felt like giving up. Dimitar was there for me though and he really helped me get through those tough times. 

    After a month of juice detoxing, I felt like I was on a high cloud and I had so much energy - my skin also looked amazing! The best part about feeling so great though was how much weight I had lost; about 25 pounds. While I wish I could say that my life changed after that, I still had the bad eating habits attached to me mentally and I ended up gaining the weight back. 

Me at 125 lbs.

    In 2019, I was introduced to Keto at some point and felt up to the challenge to try something new; again. I had a big trip coming up and I wanted to look my best. After all, if you're going to Italy, you want to look and feel your best! Keto wasn't that hard because I was able to eat clean food. It was challenging though because Keto means you have to refrain from eating too many carbs. It was tolerable though because the food I ate filled me up and helped me lose so much weight. To this day, I highly recommend doing Keto!


Me at 113 lbs.

    2020 was a very hard year though because that was the year my mom passed away. It took a toll on me and to make matters harder, I was living with my boyfriends family at the time and we weren't getting along - so I did everything I could to isolate myself and with that came bad eating habits. I knew I was sabotaging myself, but I felt the need to protect myself from negative people and it resulted in me spending a lot of time alone and eating horribly. As you guessed it, I gained weight. 

    This leads me to the point I am at now. I've grown tired of my relationship with food and realize that when life gets hard, I often turn to food for comfort.  To break these patterns, I want to start over - completely. 

Me at 137 lbs.

    I first learned about water fasting a few years ago but I was too scared to ever try it. Now that I am at the point where I am so fed up with my bad habits, I'm ready to face my fears and become someone better. I have always put mental health at the top of my priorities list, but I have always neglected my physical health as a result which is so backwards. Both should be balanced and look after for complete well-being. 

    Three days ago, I started my 30 day water fast and it has been physically and mentally challenging; but I've already lost 3 lbs. I refuse to be a prisoner to food and my own false beliefs. I'm ready to become a new person starting now. Some may look down on fasting and think it's starving yourself but there are plenty of articles from well known doctors who support fasting as a way to restart the body on a cellular level. Many religions also practicing fasting for it's spiritual gains and detoxing benefits too. 

    For me, I am doing it to change my relationship with food, to challenge myself so that I can for once appreciate having food in a first world country, and also do it so I can learn to love myself all over again through such an awakening process. I have always told myself that if you live your life believing you need something outside of yourself, you are just a modern day prisoner. I've realized that my own beliefs have kept me a prisoner and it's time I start over and live my life more authentically. 

    Over the next few weeks, I will be vlogging my fasting journey and I will upload my results onto my YouTube channel once my fast is over. I wont mention my fast on my YouTube channel for now just because I know how negative some viewers can be - so I will just provide small updates on my blog and upload regular vlogs onto my channel. Wish me luck!

Until next time! xoxo - Sarah


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