Over the years, I have tried numerous dieting methods. Since I have always struggled with my weight - losing weight and keeping it off - I have always felt like a prisoner of my own body. Have you ever felt like this? There are times where it's extremely discouraging, especially when I think about how many years I've felt like this - basically my whole life. There are plenty of times where I wonder, is this how I am going to be for the rest of my life?
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Before I dive into what this post is about, I want to give you an idea of what I've tried exactly when it comes to my diet. The first time I lost weight, I ate oatmeal for a whole month. I fell into a depression and I couldn't get myself to eat anything because I was so tired of the food at home; constant sweets and junk food. So I ate only oatmeal and lost over 30 lbs. I looked great, but still felt empty inside.
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| Me at 98 lbs. |
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| Me at 120 lbs. |
After watching that documentary, I decided to go on a 30 day Juice detox. Basically, I would replace all of my meals with raw juice and boy was it hard! The first two weeks, I felt miserable. My cravings were high, my emotions were all over the place, and I constantly felt like giving up. Dimitar was there for me though and he really helped me get through those tough times.
After a month of juice detoxing, I felt like I was on a high cloud and I had so much energy - my skin also looked amazing! The best part about feeling so great though was how much weight I had lost; about 25 pounds. While I wish I could say that my life changed after that, I still had the bad eating habits attached to me mentally and I ended up gaining the weight back.
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| Me at 125 lbs. |
In 2019, I was introduced to Keto at some point and felt up to the challenge to try something new; again. I had a big trip coming up and I wanted to look my best. After all, if you're going to Italy, you want to look and feel your best! Keto wasn't that hard because I was able to eat clean food. It was challenging though because Keto means you have to refrain from eating too many carbs. It was tolerable though because the food I ate filled me up and helped me lose so much weight. To this day, I highly recommend doing Keto!
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| Me at 113 lbs. |
2020 was a very hard year though because that was the year my mom passed away. It took a toll on me and to make matters harder, I was living with my boyfriends family at the time and we weren't getting along - so I did everything I could to isolate myself and with that came bad eating habits. I knew I was sabotaging myself, but I felt the need to protect myself from negative people and it resulted in me spending a lot of time alone and eating horribly. As you guessed it, I gained weight.
This leads me to the point I am at now. I've grown tired of my relationship with food and realize that when life gets hard, I often turn to food for comfort. To break these patterns, I want to start over - completely.
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| Me at 137 lbs. |
I first learned about water fasting a few years ago but I was too scared to ever try it. Now that I am at the point where I am so fed up with my bad habits, I'm ready to face my fears and become someone better. I have always put mental health at the top of my priorities list, but I have always neglected my physical health as a result which is so backwards. Both should be balanced and look after for complete well-being.
Three days ago, I started my 30 day water fast and it has been physically and mentally challenging; but I've already lost 3 lbs. I refuse to be a prisoner to food and my own false beliefs. I'm ready to become a new person starting now. Some may look down on fasting and think it's starving yourself but there are plenty of articles from well known doctors who support fasting as a way to restart the body on a cellular level. Many religions also practicing fasting for it's spiritual gains and detoxing benefits too.
For me, I am doing it to change my relationship with food, to challenge myself so that I can for once appreciate having food in a first world country, and also do it so I can learn to love myself all over again through such an awakening process. I have always told myself that if you live your life believing you need something outside of yourself, you are just a modern day prisoner. I've realized that my own beliefs have kept me a prisoner and it's time I start over and live my life more authentically.
Over the next few weeks, I will be vlogging my fasting journey and I will upload my results onto my YouTube channel once my fast is over. I wont mention my fast on my YouTube channel for now just because I know how negative some viewers can be - so I will just provide small updates on my blog and upload regular vlogs onto my channel. Wish me luck!
Until next time! xoxo - Sarah
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